


I Reach Out And Touch

by LadyMorgaine76



Series: Breathe My Love... [2]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: I write moments not actions, M/M, Penny is happy, They´re in love and they know it, mending and healing, slowly, still so introspective at times...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-29 00:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21401065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMorgaine76/pseuds/LadyMorgaine76
Summary: To be read right after I Just Wanna See The Stars With You.It's a gentle morning after with decisions and soft awakenings.The boys are moving forward...
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Breathe My Love... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542856
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	I Reach Out And Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Have I said I struggle with battles? I do...  
Which is why we're back to diving into Simon and Baz's feelings intead of kicking Dark creatures' asses...  
I hope you like it!

**Baz**

Waking up to the_ morning after _can be nerve racking.

Not_ that _ kind of morning after though!

Neither me, nor Simon believe in trying to solve our problems with sex... (I finally got into my stubborn mind that calling my boyfriend by his first name _ is _important and that opening up is not going to kill me. Quite the opposite!)

Last night we finally talked (Or began to) about our issues. About our fears, our feelings of inadequacy, of why we shut down inside our own minds. About the fact that both of us were starting to feel we were becoming a thorn in the other's side all the while really, _ really _ afraid of losing each other, of throwing it all away.

Because we love each other.

It just never occurred to us that_ maybe _ opening our mouths and actually saying those words, would be the first step into healing. Into fixing things.

Two dumbasses in love.

Lovely…

But this morning is filled with unspoken potential. 

We're back on our tower at Mummers House.

This was the place we came to try and recover after what happened with the Mage. There's plenty of memories attached to this place. Most of them awkward and even bitter.

We didn't get the chance to live our love story inside these walls…

The last thing they witnessed was pain, sadness, hopelessness, fear of an enigmatic future and my own feeling of solitude when I came back to finish Eight Year without Simon.

His empty bed haunted me. There were days I felt guilty for being here, like finishing my studies was some act of selfishness, like I should have stayed by Simon's side even if that meant dropping out too…

He wouldn't hear of it, of course. He said that just because he felt no point in coming back to Watford when he was devoid of magic, I shouldn't throw away the rest of my education.

Besides, thanks to Headmistress Bunce, the stupidly dictatorship-like rules of No Phones and No Computers have been completely dismissed. Which meant we talked on the phone and messaged each other every day. 

It was still hard.

And now we're here again. We needed to stay somewhere while helping with our current Dark Creatures' problem, so staying here seemed natural.

Especially because our bedroom wasn't being used anymore!

Because our bedroom, apparently, shut down!

For some reason, it refused to open to absolutely anyone!

Except us. Us, including Penelope Bunce! 

I have the theory that our emotional state after what happened the White Chapel caused a deep imprint within the bedroom causing it to lock down with our grief and pain, and only we could open it again. Only we could bring it closure.

Or so it seems…

We didn't even need to "reintroduce" ourselves to the bedroom again. It simply unlocked itself when Simon tried to turn the knob.

There was a feeling of stuffed air and oppression in it. Like the ambiance had mixed with all the overwhelming emotions we left here, to create this sense of dread looming around.

Simon snorted when I was the one to rush to the window so I could open it wide.

Last night was the first time Simon smiled as he pushed the beds together as I got completely flustered, my mind wandering to places I knew we still weren't ready to go.

_ "Get your mind out of the gutter, Baz…" _ He laughed carelessly like he hadn't done in what felt like an eternity. _ "I just want to sleep next to you. And I do mean sleep. As in you close your eyes and next thing you know it's morning already…" _

I rolled my eyes, because at that moment my bloody words decided to fail me.

So, now I lay by his side, my back to the wall, watching him snore ("_ I don't snore, Baz!") _(He does…), sleeping on his belly because of the wings causes it. I don't mind. It's a soft snore. He sounds cute. (I never told him that. Maybe I should.)

His left wing is completely recoiled, while the right one is slightly open, keeping us shaded from the morning sun.

I scoot closer, chasing his warmth, and his arm reaches for my waist, pulling me closer.

He mumbles my name and I'm reduced to the stereotypical rom-com character, swooning over my own name being tenderly whispered by my boyfriend.

I don't care.

I'm twenty! 

It's a perfectly acceptable age to get emotional and exhilarated each time I'm reminded that this is real. That Simon loves me. That I get to love Simon.

That fifteen year old me pining over Watford's Golden Boy wasn't as hopeless as I believed then. 

I let my fingers run slowly through his curls and watch his lips curl into a tiny smirk. He pulls me even closer until my nose gently brushes his.

I can't help but to lightly kiss his lips and call his name.

There's a peaceful beauty about watching him wake up next to me, looking into his blue eyes squinting and fluttering as his mind abandons all sleep and he lets out a small contented sigh when our gazes meet.

We're on the borderline of this hazy moment and the realness of the day waiting for us outside.

It's the "what happens next" knocking at our door.

There's apprehension, for sure.

But, for the very first time in months there's no tangent fear. No chilly dread coursing through my veins.

Instead, it's a new beginning that awaits us.

Things won't become automatically perfect, of course. 

There's no such thing as perfection. There was no miracle waiting for Simon back home.

But at least I know we won't shut ourselves in our fear filled silences anymore. 

We'll speak now, no matter how frightening I know it might get sometimes. (I'm still scared I'll say the wrong thing - too many years using callousness as mask, I guess.)

There will still be some arguments, I'm sure. It's how we are.

But I won't bite my tongue anymore. We'll talk it out.

And we'll make sure to never end our days mad at each other.

I'll make sure I'll always tell Simon I love him!

And I'm sure now that he'll always says it back!

We're on the right path to healing, bit by bit. 

It's something that will take time, but we'll be doing it together.

I'll take the happy, almost perfect days along with the days when Simon is almost non-verbal. (This time I won't be paralysed, not knowing what to do. I'll stay by his side, on our bed, I'll let him choose to lean on me when he's ready. To open up to me on his own accord.) 

I'll take them all, because I love Simon through anything life still decides to throw at us…

We're still young. 

We have time.

We have so much to learn yet.

I'm not scared anymore!

**Simon**

I wake up to the feeling of long fingers running through my hair and cool lips softly pressing on mine.

It's tender and not demanding in any way.

I missed this so much!

The closeness to Baz. Not just physically but also the emotional closeness. Being able to touch him, feeling him as mine. Feeling myself as his. 

I missed the belonging. I missed finding home in Baz's arms.

His eyes are intent on mine. I love his eyes! They're absolutely mesmerising, but his over inflated ego doesn't need one more thing to expand further…

He's absolutely beautiful and he's painfully aware of it!

Greyish complexion and all!

Sometimes I wonder if his eyes have always been like that or if that particular shade of grey is a byproduct of his vampirism…

I notice my right wing was opened, over us, shielding us from the intense light. (We never closed the heavy curtains last night and the window stayed open. I hope Baz isn't freezing…) I recoil it.

My lips meet his into a languid kiss. It sweet and comforting. It also comes naturally, like the last months were just an obstacle we left behind.

I smile at him.

"Good morning, darling…" My voice is still raspy from sleep. Baz's eyes widen and for a second I wonder if that was the wrong thing to say…

But then, his whole face lights up and his smile is the most pretty thing I've ever seen!

I guess that was the right thing to say.

Have I never called him darling before?

I really haven't, have I?

When I told him I wanted to be his terrible boyfriend, I didn't mean it literally! I most certainly don't want to be the_ terrible _ part!

I want to be a good boyfriend.

One who's there for him.

One that absolutely uses pet names!

"Good morning, love." He answers back. His voice clear enough for me to know he's been awaken for a while now.

"I really don't want to get up, but…" I sigh.

"You really don't want to miss your beloved scones?"

I chuckle. "That's so bloody weird… we're on the middle of a conflict, but there's still that bit of normalcy being kept."

"We're not savages!" Baz rolls his eyes, gently pushing me in that way that means he really, really needs to use the bathroom. "Can't send people to fight on empty stomachs!"

I get up and watch as he sways towards the bathroom.

I like him like this. No facade. Natural, careless of image and appearance. 

I also like him well put together. Elegant yet fierce looking. Well mannered but never in a way that puts him beneath anyone else. (He has been. Beneath me, that is. Not all the way, but still…)

The Baz that goes into the bathroom and the one comes out of it can be strikingly different.

And I love them both.

I love him with all his sides, his complexities, his ups and downs. 

I've learned to read his expression, I think… 

Or at least I'm learning. It's an ongoing process.

I fell in love with him like that. With all that!

I don't want him to change. That's not what we're supposed to do anyway. 

We don't have to change our ways to make this relationship last.

We need to find all the ways we fit together. All the ways we match and all the ways our fundamental differences complement each other.

That's how evolve as a couple, I think.

That's how we make this durable.

I groan audibly as I come to terms with what this means. What I need to do to make this work. To make_ us _ work.

I need to go back to therapy…

"What?" Baz's voice startles me. He's stepped out of the bathroom, showered and smelling wonderfully of cedar and bergamot. (I tried finding anything with that particular smell to offer him on our first valentine's day. I failed miserably…) "I didn't take that long in there! I'm sure that'll still be enough sour cherry scones waiting for you."

(I know that. Cook Pritchard started reserving some especially for me. Dating her third cousin has its perks!)

"It's not that." I offer no more explanations and I pass by him to get into the bathroom. Not without stealing a quick kiss and inhaling that wonderful scent that's so… Baz! "I'll tell you later, ok? And no overthinking! It's not a bad thing."

"That's why you looked like you stubbed your toe in the bed post." Baz raises his eyebrow. 

"It's not bad_ for you _ ! It's slightly unpleasant for me, theoretically, but it's also not bad _ for me _ in the long run."

"Sounds ominous!"

"It's not. Trust me." I tell him.

"I do." He smiles.

And I know he does.

Like I said…

We're on the right path here!

**Penelope**

I wave at Simon and Baz when I spot them entering the hall. I kept two seats for them right across Agatha, Sheppard and myself.

Dev and Niall also share our table now.

It's still so fucking weird…

But they're actually good blokes, when you take the time to know them!

They're absolutely loyal to Baz and that loyalty extended to Simon.

It was awkward at first for them, no doubt. 

But I think once they realised Baz wasn't letting go of Simon anytime sooner, they took the next obvious step and "welcomed" us into their daily routines and their lives.

Dev likes to pretend he's an arse, but he's more observing than people give him credit and also more caring.

Niall is smart and resourceful. Will roll up his sleeves and kick anyone's arse if needed. Seems to enjoy living in Dev's limelight… (I think there's something else there. I haven't known him well enough to simply ask.)

They're ok.

Things would have been quite different (for the better. I'm convinced of it.) if we had them on our sides from day one. 

But the so-called "responsible" adults decided that Simon and Baz had to mandatorily be on opposite sides of their stupid wars…

I'm glad the Mage is gone!

I'm glad Baz stood up to his father and called him out on his bullshit!

But what I'm presently really glad about?

Simon and Baz.

Walking towards us.

Hand in hand.

Smiling.

Talking.

Looking at each other in a way they hadn't in a long time.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders…

I've been so worried about them, lately…

I thought the road trip through the States would help them...

When we got back and I went home with my parents, I locked myself in my bedroom and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

It had all gone wrong.

I thought they were on the verge of a break-up and I blamed myself.

I felt miserable…

But I should have known those two are way too in love to give up without a fight!

Whatever happened last night, seems to have been the right step to take. (Well, I think I can be certain of what_ didn't _ happen! Baz doesn't seem the type of bloke to try to solve relationship issues _ like that _!)

They'll be alright.

_ We'll _ be alright!

I feel like I could take a dozen dark creatures right now!

We might very well need to do so! 

But we have an Ace ready to play.

And those are some of the good news I have for Simon and Baz…

Nicodemus is here!

And he's more than ready to help!

So, I guess not all vampires are bad.

We have Baz.

And Nicodemus brought some friends… Nice!

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
